Merry Christmas Bike Accident

It must have been a year since I made this run of high-class mini-zines. In my offset printing class, fall 2009, our first assignment was to make a one-color one-off project. I decided to use the opportunity to create a terrible Christmas card.

The last page shows me (this is a true story, about me!) sitting at a table with a bowl of lumpy something, stitches all over my face, eating through a large straw. One word bubble emanating from off-page asks, "is that straw big enough for you, sweetie?" while another, crossing tails with the first, says, "pass the turkey, please." At the bottom of the page is a large message: MERRY CHRISTMAS 2009.

As you can tell if you read the book, this is about the bike accident I had right before Christmas when I was eight years old. I skidded down a hill on my face and it really messed me up and totally ruined the holiday. There's still a chip of cement embedded in my nose. Gruesome closeup:

(Admittedly, slightly hyperbolic. Slightly.) I distributed this along with regular gifts to my friends and fellows last year. Because it was an offset project, I had to do a large run of prints, so I still have about 60ish copies left. I'm thinking of covering up the 2009 part and just giving them out as sick jokes, or selling them as sick jokes for other people to give out.


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